Christmas Time At The Castle That Never Was
by The Chaos Dragoness
Summary: My first KH fan-fic! A funny holiday-themed one shot that gives my take on what would happen with Org XIII and my new OC Xinre on Christmas day at The Castle That Never Was. Includes Christmas song parodies and a XemSai reference. Please give it a chance.


_All right, my first Kingdom Hearts fan-fic! So if it sucks, it's because of that. This story also includes my new OC Xinre and you can check out her OC profile on my bio. I suggest you do that before reading on._

**Disclaimer: _I ONLY OWN XINRE. I DON'T OWN KH/SQUARE ENIX. IF I DID, ORGANIZATION XIII WOULDN'T HAVE FADED AWAY AND THEY WOULD HAVE HAD THEIR HEARTS RETURNED TO THEM._**

**XxX**

It's Christmas day at the Castle That Never Was. Xigbar lurked in the shadows high on the ceiling, his new Nerf gun in hand, just waiting for some poor sucker- er...I mean, target, to walk through the hall. Fortunately for him, he didn't have to wait long.

Xinre, number XIV and the newest Nobody in the Orgy, had just exited a corridor into the hall to check on her new pet turtle (a gift from Demyx) in her room. Xigbar stealthily floated down behind her and shot her in the back of the head. Xinre spun around and looked at him, a slightly irritated look in her eyes.

"I knew it was a bad idea to get you that." She said with a sigh.

"Your fault," Xigbar quipped with a smirk. He shot another foam dart at her, hitting her in the nose.

"Alright Xig, please stop." Xigbar ignored her and shot more darts at her. "Okay, stop. I- Seriously, you're gonna- I SAID STOP!" she shouted. She summoned her katanas, which she named "Dragon's Fury," and lunged for Xigbar. He dodged her blades and opened a corridor leading to the Grey Area. He ran into it and Xinre followed close behind just before the corridor closed.

**XxX**

Down in the Grey Area, Vexen had just finished cleaning up the wrapping paper and ribbon from the morning's festivities.

"There we are. Good as new," he said with a triumphant smile. Just then, a corridor opened up and Xigbar popped out. Xinre jumped out moments later and tackled him. They rolled around wrestling each other on the floor and crashed into the trash bin, messing up the Chilly Academic's hard work. "Aw, come on!" he shouted angrily.

All of a sudden, Xinre got off Xigbar and her body started to morph. Her fingers grew claws, horns sprouted from her head, her skin became green and scaly, wings appeared on her back, and a tail came into view as she grew over 20 feet tall (on just all fours alone!) She let out a ferocious roar that shook the whole castle.

"How's _this_ for firepower?"

"Eep..." Xigbar squeaked out, his good eye wide from fear. Xinre lashed out at him with her tail but the Freeshooter teleported away and she instead hit Vexen, knocking him into the crowd of Nobodies that gathered to watch the fight.

"My munny's on the dragon," Luxord said to Axel. Saix appeared and pushed his way through the hooting and cheering crowd.

"What in the name of Kingdom Hearts is going on here?" he roared out. Xigbar put his guns away and Xinre morphed back into her human form.

"He started it," Mother Nature's Warrior Princess said, pointing to Xigbar.

"As if!" he shouted back.

"I don't care who started it XIV, I'm finishing it!" Saix shouted. "If you need to calm down, then I suggest something constructive instead of tearing down the castle!" He waved his hand and a dark corridor appeared. He walked through it and disappeared.

"Erm...Sorry for before, Vexen," Xinre said as she helped the scientist up.

"It's quite alright," Vexen said. "Number II moved at the last second and it couldn't be helped."

"And Xigbar...Truce?" She held out her hand to him and he shook it.

"Until the next fight. That probably won't be that far off."

"Okay, cool. Now, what can we do that won't cause havoc?" Everyone thought about that for a minute, then Demyx raised his hand.

"Um...What about singing Christmas songs?" he suggested.

"That's a great idea!" Axel said. "I'm going first. Got it memorized?"

Demyx went to his room and a few minutes later he reappeared with his boom box and a score of holiday karaoke CD's. Vexen picked one up and looked at the back of the case.

"Ehh, nothing here piques my interest. If you'll all excuse me, I'll be heading back to my lab."

"Aw, come on Jack Frost!" Xigbar said. "It's Christmas. You gotta at least sing one song. We're even trying to get Luxord loaded on eggnog so he'll sing."

"Hey Dem, do you have the Miser Brother's song?" Axel asked. Demyx nodded. "Then that's what Vexen and I are singing." Demyx searched through his CD's until he found the correct one and popped it into the boom box.

"I am **NOT** singing!" Vexen said. The Flurry of Dancing Flames held his chakram to Vexen's face.

"Yes, you are." Axel said sternly. Vexen quickly backed down and took his place next to Axel. "Now I'm the Heat Miser, Vexen's the Snow Miser, and the rest of you are gonna be the chorus of miser-lets. Got it memorized? Good. Now let's sing!

[KEY: _italic_= Vexen's part, **Bold**= Axel's part, underlined= everyone else]

_I'm Mister White Christmas_  
_ I'm Mister Snow_  
_ I'm Mister Icicle_  
_ I'm Mister Ten Below_  
_ Friends call me Snow Miser,_  
_ What ever I touch_  
_ Turns to snow in my clutch_  
_ I'm too much!_

He's Mister White Christmas  
He's Mister Snow  
He's Mister Icicle  
He's Mister Ten Below

_ Friends call me Snow Miser,_  
_ What ever I touch_  
_ Turns to snow in my clutch_  
He's too much!  
_ I never want to know a day_  
_ That's over forty degrees_  
_ I'd rather have it thirty,_  
_ Twenty, then Five, then let it freeze!_  
_ (brrrrrrrrrrr!)_

He's Mister White Christmas  
He's Mister Snow  
He's Mister Icicle  
He's Mister Ten Below

_Friends call me Snow Miser,_  
_ What ever I touch_  
_ Turns to snow in my clutch,_  
_ Too much._  
Too Much!

**I'm Mister Green Christmas**  
** I'm Mister Sun**  
** I'm Mister Heat Blister**  
** I'm Mister Hundred and One**  
** They call me Heat Miser,**  
** What ever I touch**  
** Starts to melt in my clutch**  
** I'm too much!**

He's Mister Green Christmas  
He's Mister Sun  
He's Mister Heat Blister  
He's Mister Hundred and One

** They call me Heat Miser,**  
** What ever I touch**  
** Starts to melt in my clutch**  
He's too much!**  
Thank you!**  
** I never want to know a day**  
** That's under sixty degrees**  
** I'd rather have it eighty,**  
** Ninety, one hundred's a breeze!**  
** (spoken)**** Oh, some like it hot, but I like it**** REALLY hot! Hee hee!**

He's Mister Green Christmas  
He's Mister Sun  
**Sing it!**  
He's Mister Heat Blister  
He's Mister Hundred and One

**They call me Heat Miser,**  
** What ever I touch**  
** Starts to melt in my clutch**  
** I'm too much!**  
Too Much!

Everyone clapped as Axel took a bow and Vexen high-tailed it back to his lab to avoid any further embarrassment.

"So who's next?" Axel asked. Xigbar took Xinre's hand and thrusted it into the air.

"Xiggy, what are you doing?" she angrily whispered.

"Back here! Xinre wants to go!" Xigbar said.

"Alright, come on up and pick a song, Xinre." Axel said. The Warrior Princess glared at Xigbar.

"I'll get you back. And I know exactly how..." Xinre popped open the CD player, put her CD into it, flipped to the song she wanted, and started singing.

You know Vexen and Xaldin,  
And Luxord and Saix  
Roxas and Marly  
And Lexaeus and Demyx  
But do you recall the most famous dumbass of all?

Xiggy the Big-Headed Dumbass (Dumbass)  
Had a very big head (Like a boulder!)  
And if you ever saw it (saw it)  
You would even say it's huge (like a planet!)  
All of the other Nobodies (Nobodies)  
Used to laugh and call him names (like 'Assclown!')  
They never let stupid Xiggy join in any of their games (Like on the Wii!)

The one foggy Christmas eve, Xemnas came to say (Oh, dear!)  
"Xigbar with your head so large,  
Won't you help me make Kingdom Hearts?"  
Then all the ladies hated him  
As they shouted out with 'yuck,'  
Xiggy the Big-Headed Dumbass,  
You won't go down in history! (Hell no!)

Xigbar choked on his eggnog and Demyx was laughing so hard he shot his out his nose.

"Did you really have to sing that?" Xigbar said.

"Payback's a bitch. Get used to it."

"Yeah," Axel said "Get used to it 'Xiggy the Big-Headed Dumbass.'" He bursted out laughing and rolled around on the floor clutching his sides.

"Okay..." Demyx said, finally catching his breath and wiping eggnog off his face. "Okay, we're doing song parodies? I got one too." He sat down in a chair, took out his sitar, and strummed a tune. "This one I've been saving for a special occasion..."

_I saw Saix kissing Xemnas Claus _

_Underneath the mistletoe last night. _

_He didn't see me creep _

_'Round the hall to have a peep; _

_He thought that I was in my bedroom, fast asleep _

_Then, I saw Saix tickle Xemnas Claus _

_Underneath his beard so snowy white; _

_Oh, what a laugh it would have been _

_If Axel had only seen _

_Saix kissing Xemnas Claus last night..._

Demyx put his sitar away and stood for his applause, but none came. Everyone simply stared in horror behind him.

"What? My singing wasn't _THAT_ bad." He turned around and was met with the angry orange eye of Xemnas.

"I'll deal with you after the holidays, number IX." he said eerily calm. Demyx nervously chuckled, picked up his sitar, and ran away into a dark corridor.

"Wow," Axel said. "I almost feel bad for the poor kid."

"As for the rest of you, return to your rooms and get some rest. It's getting late." Xemnas then walked into a corridor of his own and disappeared.

"Aw man, the party's over already?" Xigbar whined. "And we just got Luxord wasted!"

Everyone looked over at Luxord, who was stumbling around with a glass of eggnog in his hand and singing an off-key song.

"Mi cabella estaba rompendo, la-la-la-la-la, something, something, something, la-la-la-la-la..." He then passed out face first onto the couch.

"I'll take him back to his room," Xaldin said with a sigh.

"Good night, everyone," Xinre said. Everyone else mumbled their good nights and disappeared to their rooms.

XxX

Xinre sat on the Altar of Naught and stared at the nearly-complete Kingdom Hearts. _Soon,_ she thought. _Not much longer until..._ She was then pulled from her thoughts by a voice from behind her.

"Nice, huh?" Xinre turned her head and saw Xigbar who had a large blanket in his hands. He sat next to her and wrapped the blanket around them.

"Thanks. I was starting to get cold," Xinre said. She moved a little closer to Xigbar so she could absorb his body heat.

"Hey, I got something for you," he said as he reached into his coat pocket. "I got it on my last trip to The Land of the Dragons. I was gonna save it for when Kingdom Hearts was complete, but..." He took her left hand and slid a white gold ring that looked like a coiled dragon with emerald eyes onto her ring finger. "...No better time than Christmas, eh? A dragon for my dragon lady."

"It's beautiful," Xinre said as she looked at the ring on her hand.

"And it's a promise," Xigbar added. "A promise that, once Kingdom Hearts is complete, we'll be together forever." He brought her face to his and planted a slow, sweet kiss on her lips. Xinre giggled softly when the Freeshooter pulled away.

"Merry Christmas, Xigbar."

He gave the Warrior Princess a genuine smile and held her close as both gazed at the moon, neither wanting the other to leave their side.

X THE END X

_**D'aww, sickly sweet and shameless Xigbar fluff there at the end ^^ I'm sorry if I caused anyone's IQ to drop or if that last bit caused you to bring your meal back up. Anyways, Merry Christmas and happy new year! Please review and tell me what you thought of my very first KH fic.**_


End file.
